About Me
- I like walking/ solitary activities
- Reading is always piling up, I can spend entire days trying to keep up with things I want to read
- Socializing has never really worked for me for various reasons. If I had some obligation to be social though I always think this should take place by some established means, although I don’t know.
- I like music sometimes, although much of the time it’s background noise. The music I really like I might be embarrassed to admit.
- I like movies very much, and strange tv shows whenever I find them. In a perfect world I would do nothing other than watch movies. As it is, I can’t get through half a movie without feeling like I’m wasting the day.
- I used to do nothing but be out all the time, and I liked it although I took it for granted. Man, I was so angry when this shit began. You go somewhere and the next day it’s on somebody’s website. (no one will tell you that you’re famous or anything like that). Etc. These days you’re quite familiar with it, and you know the type of beings and you know what exists of personal freedom.
- I used to like alcohol etc. These days it doesn’t really make a difference. I can go with or without, and usually go without. I like smoking cigarettes.
- I like having personal space, having random things happen, walking through a metropolitan that’s indifferent to your existence. Things I can’t have, I spend time thinking about, and all enjoyment, if one thinks about it, exists in thought anyways, and besides, who says anything needs to be enjoyable?
- I like nice places, nice nature, nice architecture. I like wind and miserable weather. I like cold better than hot, although extreme of either is good. If you’re drenched in sweat or rain, you worry about it when you get home, but as long as you’re out it’s an adventure. I think, maybe there’s something I’m not thinking about, or not remembering correctly, and something will contradict this statement.
- I’m beginning to dislike the internet quite a bit
- I’d been eating healthy, which I certainly hadn’t done most of my life, and it’s not so bad
- I don’t like public transportation, although I used to, a lot.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
You Are Reasonable
Things have been quite a bit more cold and awkward around me today. Last week they had been more aggressive and I guess this week they began approaching the realization that I wasn’t going to do anything to repair my social standing. The service sector is beginning to lash out at me a little more today again. I really don’t have such a problem with people not doing their jobs properly, like I am there to check that they are accurately conforming to the guidelines of their jobs while all they want to do is revolve around me. It gets a little restrictive for me if I feel it getting to the point where cops will show up at my door if I commit a social transgression though. I think cops, for example, should deal with crime and not social transgressions (nothing really happened except a peculiarly timed by-law enforcement, it’s just an opinion that I have). Another thing is that, even after more than a decade of this, it’s almost always my first inclination when encountering a person I’ve never seen before to think of them as a random person, and they never are. For some reason I can never get myself to do otherwise. And then they get these advantages over me in ways they’ve obviously been prepared and waiting to do. Shucks. And many other things, some pretty strange, although these wouldn’t really fit into the current writing. I won’t definitively presume to say there is a collective, and that vast amounts of things are there for nothing other than the sake of absurdity, but sometimes it seems like there actually is and that there are things that happen and things that only seem to happen. At one such time (earlier today), I had written this:
An Appraisal of Collectivism
Almost everything that exists superficially (as a pretext for the things that actually happen), is based on the notion that there are individuals. There would be no pretext by which to justify anything, if one lays claim to a certain level of civilization, without this notion that seems to give almost all things their very meaning. One is badly disposed to the notion of collectivism, and indeed to its practice if one is not able to be a seamless benefactor/beneficiary of the collective.
There are issues of practicability: Why things cannot survive the involvements of collectives, why things can’t have meaning, and what kind of relatedness can one have to, and what can one define in relation to, a rash?
It has come to be written into every muscle that, regardless of the way society is set up, there are to be no appeals to understanding. Likewise, logic quite gets in their way, and so they have become more immune to it and more forthcoming with effective subterfuges. No one will do anything that you can hold them accountable to, and no one will do anything on an individual-basis, and everywhere you turn indeed you encounter nothing but more representatives of one collective.
The collective is a hideous freak, although it manifests itself as large masses for whom compassion can obviously not be felt. If you have a problem with one, the next day you have that problem with 10000, and you don’t need to make it public or anything. If you show affection to one, automatically 10000 act as recipients to that affection and become inextricable from your life. The collective perhaps doesn’t mean to spoil things, it just wants to be a part of things, and can’t help but drag itself in its entirety into them.
But it’s not all bad. There is power in large numbers who are all the same and work together, and debatably also personal strength (although it doesn’t always seem so at those times when they need so very many of each other for the attainment of confidence and action as related to me). A few leaps of logic and they can even be mistaken for being over-civilized. They have strategically scattered themselves into a society where they get to be behind every button, and can more easily become fluent in a master (rather than slave) morality, just as long, of course, as they invoke the notion of ‘we’.
Is there indeed one permanent point of fixation in collective practice? Are there things that couldn’t possibly be collectively organized without a collective?
Things have been quite a bit more cold and awkward around me today. Last week they had been more aggressive and I guess this week they began approaching the realization that I wasn’t going to do anything to repair my social standing. The service sector is beginning to lash out at me a little more today again. I really don’t have such a problem with people not doing their jobs properly, like I am there to check that they are accurately conforming to the guidelines of their jobs while all they want to do is revolve around me. It gets a little restrictive for me if I feel it getting to the point where cops will show up at my door if I commit a social transgression though. I think cops, for example, should deal with crime and not social transgressions (nothing really happened except a peculiarly timed by-law enforcement, it’s just an opinion that I have). Another thing is that, even after more than a decade of this, it’s almost always my first inclination when encountering a person I’ve never seen before to think of them as a random person, and they never are. For some reason I can never get myself to do otherwise. And then they get these advantages over me in ways they’ve obviously been prepared and waiting to do. Shucks. And many other things, some pretty strange, although these wouldn’t really fit into the current writing. I won’t definitively presume to say there is a collective, and that vast amounts of things are there for nothing other than the sake of absurdity, but sometimes it seems like there actually is and that there are things that happen and things that only seem to happen. At one such time (earlier today), I had written this:
An Appraisal of Collectivism
Almost everything that exists superficially (as a pretext for the things that actually happen), is based on the notion that there are individuals. There would be no pretext by which to justify anything, if one lays claim to a certain level of civilization, without this notion that seems to give almost all things their very meaning. One is badly disposed to the notion of collectivism, and indeed to its practice if one is not able to be a seamless benefactor/beneficiary of the collective.
There are issues of practicability: Why things cannot survive the involvements of collectives, why things can’t have meaning, and what kind of relatedness can one have to, and what can one define in relation to, a rash?
It has come to be written into every muscle that, regardless of the way society is set up, there are to be no appeals to understanding. Likewise, logic quite gets in their way, and so they have become more immune to it and more forthcoming with effective subterfuges. No one will do anything that you can hold them accountable to, and no one will do anything on an individual-basis, and everywhere you turn indeed you encounter nothing but more representatives of one collective.
The collective is a hideous freak, although it manifests itself as large masses for whom compassion can obviously not be felt. If you have a problem with one, the next day you have that problem with 10000, and you don’t need to make it public or anything. If you show affection to one, automatically 10000 act as recipients to that affection and become inextricable from your life. The collective perhaps doesn’t mean to spoil things, it just wants to be a part of things, and can’t help but drag itself in its entirety into them.
But it’s not all bad. There is power in large numbers who are all the same and work together, and debatably also personal strength (although it doesn’t always seem so at those times when they need so very many of each other for the attainment of confidence and action as related to me). A few leaps of logic and they can even be mistaken for being over-civilized. They have strategically scattered themselves into a society where they get to be behind every button, and can more easily become fluent in a master (rather than slave) morality, just as long, of course, as they invoke the notion of ‘we’.
Is there indeed one permanent point of fixation in collective practice? Are there things that couldn’t possibly be collectively organized without a collective?
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