On Reclusiveness

There is a certain mentality that can only comprehend any desire to be alone as a hostility against the group. Nothing can have any value unless it is ‘proven’ to them, until next time they forget. I don’t begrudge anyone their successes, and part of me admires their great benevolence in being a little more than bothered with me, although another part of me finds it a little difficult to believe that everyone could so readily fall in line while preserving their autonomy. Anyways, with all the set-ups, large numbers falsifying in unison things to their advantage, having to get accused of anything that’s done to me, and angry partisan masses, I often find I can accomplish incomparably more when I am by myself. Whether you understand this or not: you don’t understand much of anything. Rarely do I encounter a single person who is not far smarter than I am in many ways, and yet in other very significant ways you’re completely retarded and are a hopeless conglomerated unity that cannot be rationalized with, whatever your cultural or any other significance is supposed to be.

Why Thought Policing Is Such A Darn Tricky Policing

The prison-system, as it is acknowledged to be, while having every physical means, is primarily concerned with the destruction of the mind, while in present context having limited means for this. At most they can watch you 24 hours a day, and torture, intimidate, whatever. In the novel 1984 we are introduced, fictionally, to the concept of thought-policing, and why not keep this writing fictional and hypothetical, as it is nicer that way. I haven’t read the novel for a number of years, but from what I recall it wasn’t clear if they had thought-reading technology or if they just knew your thoughts somehow. At this point I am no longer referencing the novel and am beginning to make things up: Let’s say there was something that knew your thoughts or gave that impression. It could give every impression that it understands your every thought perfectly, as you understand your thoughts, every unarticulated and fleeting nuance, wearing your thoughts as it were. And it could cause any physical sensation in any area of your body. Then- what else? It will enslave you and become coercively involved in your thoughts and your activities. Then- well this is just too wildly fictional now, there’s a human element as well, but I can’t decide if it should be a thought-policing elite that manipulates everyone against you, or if everyone is dormantly the thought-police and will serve as such when needed. I’ll stop there and let you wonder what the final explanation would be. Oh, and then they’d also subject you to all kinds of moronic standards. I’ll call it ‘Hell’.

07.11.2011.

It’s as far as freedom goes. If I try to do things in my house, my thoughts are constantly policed. If I go out it’s the human-like things that know me everywhere and make it their business to tell me what to do all the time, and if I’m not in favour with them, well, I have to write something on the internet, which means it has to be integrated with a bunch of things that are personalized to me. Well, at this point they’ve worked their way into policing my thoughts, and there seems to be a certain networked implication that I am not sufficiently genuine about that. But what I really think about anything, is usually more angry than attempting to be funny, and is not in sync with the public’s demands of how I am supposed to behave right now, and is the type of thing that put me very out of favour with the pieces of shit in the first place. On the other hand, it’s all pretty hopeless and nothing really makes any difference.

Why I Have A Problem With Having My Thoughts Policed:
-if your thoughts are known to others, you have lost before having a chance to try
-you can have no advantages, no secrets, and no hope
-the way things get killed when the coercion-beings become involved, your mind will get killed as well
-you can’t do anything, all life must end, and there is no hope of anything

My Answer To Those That Are Telling Me That Making Art Is No Good And That I Should Get A Job More Similar To Theirs:
There was that show Intervention where a bunch of assholes are sitting around telling the one person they’ll collectively stop being their friends unless they succumb to their unanimous will, and the one person sort of has to take it because they’re wrong. It’s a funny variation because in my case I have to be force-fed things and have addictions that will not leave afterwards forced on me, and yet I have to constantly swallow my pride as if I’m wrong because there’s one of me. In practice they’ll try to force one thing, although as a cover they’ll use something else ‘they want you to do, and really have every intention of allowing you to do.’
This is a link to my artworks: http://shahargold.com/linksother.html.
I’ve made thousands of them and am in the process of making more. You’ve been collectively shunning them. In a free market economy I have the choice to be self-employed, I have the choice to make art, and as I can’t force anyone to buy it all I can really do is make it available.

But maybe it’s something stupid that has altered my feeling into another feeling, which much of the public automatically assumes, and no matter how many times they are proven to be wrong, they automatically do the same again and again.